What Is She Doing This Time
by cricket527
Summary: The Merry Men perspective on Stephanie's Goldilocks routine in Ten Big Ones. Rating primarily for language.


AN: Ever wonder what was going on in the control room while Stephanie was doing her Goldilocks impression in TBO? I started to think about that one day and decided to take a stab at what I thought was going on. I originally figured it would be a humorous scene but as it turned out, I was wrong. When finished this is intended to parallel events (more or less) from pages 108-250 hardback.

WARNING: Spoilers (albeit small ones) all the way through LMT. Hal, as I have him here, is a mixture of JE's Hal and Rena's Hal from the Good Enough Universe

**What Is She Doing This Time??**

aka _Merry Men in 10_

Ranger looked at the display on his ringing cell phone before flipping it open. "Yo"

"Bombshell called for the truck. Not exactly sure why. Am looking into it." Tank didn't bother with any greeting or small talk.

Ranger smirked. Bombshell. He hoped the guys knew enough to not let Stephanie hear them call her that. She didn't care much for being laughed at and that's how she'd take it. He knew the guys meant it in the same manner as calling him Ranger rather than Carlos or Tank rather than Pierre but it would take forever to convince her of it. Ranger responded with an abrupt "Find out" and snapped the phone closed. _What has she gotten into now?_ He wondered. _What happened to the indestructible Buick? Only Babe. _Ranger shook his head to clear it and returned to what he had been working on when Tank had called.

* * *

"Uh, Tank? You might wanna come check this out." Junior spoke over his shoulder.

"What?"

"I think Bombshell might have discovered the GPS can tell her where the truck's been. She's been retracing her route for the last little bit. Ah, shit, Tank. She's making her way in this direction from the cop shop."

Tank groaned. He'd forgotten to clear the trip tracker before handing her the keys. He turned away from Junior and walked over to the surveillance monitors and watched the scene happening below unfold. Hal was sitting there, on monitor duty tonight, and started to chuckle. Tank smacked the back of his head to shut him up.

"Hey!" Hal glared back briefly at Tank, rubbing his head. Tank wasn't paying him much attention.

Lester came up behind them and watched the monitors as well. "What the hell is Bombshell doing?" He asked as they watched her stop the truck at the garage entrance gate, and flash her high beams briefly. Then the truck door opened and Stephanie came out with a flashlight. By now a small crowd had formed around the monitors. Tank punched a number on his phone and started talking.

"Ranger. Bombshell just showed up here at the office. We think she followed the GPS back. Should we go down and get her or what?"

Ranger sighed. "Let her be. If she can figure out how to access the building, let her do it. Don't let her see you if you can help it. And find out what she is running from STAT!"

Tank heard the connection break. _Just fucking great! _"Junior! Start making calls. Find out what's up with Bombshell. Why is she here? What happened to that damn Buick? Oh, and get the word out: Bombshell's allowed in as far as she can figure out and everyone stays out of her sight. I want this info like yesterday!"

The guys watched with amusement as Stephanie appeared to recognize the rest of Ranger's cars parked along the back wall of the garage and then got back into the truck. It wasn't hard to read her lips as she said something. Tank chuckled as he realized she had just said "It's the Batcave". He exhaled in relief. _Maybe this is nothing more than trying to track down information on Ranger. I hope so. I'm a dead man if she's in trouble and I didn't know about it._

"Where the hell is she going?" was the basic refrain heard as they watched her back the truck up and then as the GPS showed her drive around the block and then she was back.

"I think she's trying to figure out how to get into the garage. Want me to put the gate up for her?" Hal asked.

Tank shook his head. "Nope. Ranger was clear. She's only allowed in as far as she can figure out on her own. Junior! Where's that intel!?"

"I'm working on it!"

"Work faster!" Tank all but growled back. He was getting a bad feeling in his gut now that something was really wrong to bring Bombshell out here. He found himself mentally encouraging her to figure it out. _Come on Bombshell. You have the pass there on the keychain. You need in here. Figure it out! _He was disappointed when she backed out again. "Where'd she go now?"

"Just to the corner. She's idling there for some reason."

"Oh Shit!" They all turned to face Junior at that. "She's running from the Slayers. Somehow she managed to piss them off. They tagged the Buick and the cop's house overnight. Buick's in impound at the moment. That girl is a fucking disaster magnet!"

With that, the guys all turned back to the monitors and willed Stephanie to figure out how to get into the building. They knew the safest place she could be was in the Rangeman building. No one would be able to get in. She, herself, would only manage to because she had all that she'd need with her already.

Tank dialed his phone again. "Slayers." Tank cringed as he heard Ranger swear under his breath on the other end of the line.

"I told her to stay away from Eugene. Make sure she's got a guy on her at all times. Invisible. How much has she figured out so far?"

"She's figured out the garage holds the rest of your cars. She's still trying to figure out how to get past the gate as far as we can tell."

As Stephanie once again returned to the gated entrance after circling the block, more than one Merry Man could be heard vocalizing his encouragement. A collective sigh went up as Stephanie could be seen pointing the remote key fob at the gate and it opened.

"Way to go Bombshell!" Lester said. A moment later the whole room erupted in swearing.

"Where the fuck is she going now?" Tank all but yelled in frustration as they all watched her back out again, this time leaving the gate open.

"Should I bring the gate down? It's a breach to leave it up like that." Hal asked concerned.

"Not yet. Somehow I don't think Bombshell's done yet."

"The truck's been parked. A block away."

As they watched Stephanie walk through the gate and remote it closed behind her the control room erupted in cheers. They knew she'd figure out the rest from that point now that she knew about the remote on the keychain. They chuckled at her hesitation outside the door to Ranger's personal apartment on the seventh floor however.

"_Damn girl, just go in there already, would ya? I want to be able to let the boss man know you are secure for the night."_ Tank thought to himself.

Once Stephanie crossed the threshold of the seventh floor apartment, Tank had his phone out again, dialing. After a single ring, Ranger answered the call.

"Yo."

"She's in the seventh floor apartment." Tank heard Ranger release a breath with a whoosh, and smiled to himself. Ranger didn't let many people see the human side of him, the mortal side. Tank thought Ranger liked playing the role of Stephanie's personal superhero so much that maybe _he_ was even having trouble remembering he wasn't Batman.

"She never disappoints." Ranger said; the fact that he was proud of her evident in his voice.

"Dammit! Now what…" Tank hadn't yet taken his eyes off the monitor for the camera just outside the seventh floor elevator doors.

"What?"

"She's headed back down the garage." Behind him Tank heard the other guys start at his words. Again there was a crowd gathering around the monitor bank.

"Who's on her?"

"No one yet, we hadn't had a chance to set up. If she was in the building, she wouldn't need anyone." Tank didn't even wait for the backlash of admitting to Ranger that they hadn't been prepared. He started motioning with his hands for Lester to get a move on and then signaled him to stop. "She's coming back in. She's carrying something. It's the rodent's cage and something else. She must have gone back to the truck to get some stuff for the night." Tank sent up his own mental sigh of relief at that. If she was bringing in the rodent, chances were good she'd be staying a while. "Lester'll have first watch. If she leaves the apartment again, we'll be ready." He reassured Ranger.

"Isn't the truck in the garage?"

"Nope, she parked it a block away." Both men chuckled at that. "She obviously doesn't realize we can monitor the location of our vehicles but yet thought it through enough to not want us stumbling across it and wondering what it would be doing here. She's a smart cookie."

"Never doubt it. Keep me updated." Tank let out one final sigh after the connection closed. _"Bombshell, you can't do anything the easy way, can ya?"_ He gave the rest of the guys in the control room a "Get back to work" look and the rest of the night passed without anything else remarkable happening. Stephanie was definitely in for the night.

* * *

The next morning:

Determining that all the men would need to be aware of Stephanie's every move in the building in order to stay out of her way, Tank had made all the guys don two-way communication devices in the building as well as the SOP of using them outside the building. Lester had just finished reporting what everyone already knew – that Bombshell hadn't left Ranger's apartment after taking the rodent in – and was heading down the stairs, planning to finally get some shut eye, when an expletive sounded in his ear piece, nearly causing him to miss a step.

"Bombshell's on the move. Clear the stairwells now, Repeat, clear the stairs NOW." It was Bobby, who had taken over for Lester at shift change.

Lester swore under his breath and double timed to the stairwell door on the fifth floor. Carefully closing the door behind him so it wouldn't be heard in the stairwell, he let out a sigh. "That girl hates walking up the two flights of stairs to her apartment. I would have sworn she'd use the elevator rather than walk down seven flights."

Tank looked over at him and grinned. "Don't take anything for granted when it comes to Bombshell." Looking over at the monitors, he started issuing commands. "We're gonna have to improvise. There is no way Bobby can discreetly follow her at the moment. Cal, stop Ram and Binkie before they get to the garage. They're on temporary guard until Bobby can relieve them. No one else is in or near the garage at the moment. I know they just came off shift but tough."

Cal no sooner got done relaying Tank's orders to the guys who had stopped their SUV around the corner from the building entrance than Stephanie cracked the garage door, looked out, and scuttled across the parking garage. She opened the gate and headed in the direction of where she had left the truck parked the night before.

"She didn't have the hamster cage with her." Cal reported. Tank was relieved. _If the rat's still here, she'll be back. That'll make our job easier._Waving Lester back on his way, Tank stood over sitting Cal, watching the monitor that tracked the vehicle GPS systems. _Why is the truck still there?_Just then the truck began to move. Cal started reporting again, "Truck on the move. Ram and Binkie are in place. She appears to be headed to the bonds office."

"Brown, be out of the garage in no more than 5 minutes and remember, Ranger's orders are that we are invisible detail. No interfering in take downs unless she is in danger."

"Yes sir," Bobby answered Tank automatically. He rarely called anyone, with the possible exception of Ranger, sir but in this case, it was an automatic response to a voice of clear authority.

* * *

Bobby looked up from the report he was writing and sighed. He hated doing paperwork on an exciting day and today's shift of Bombshell Watch had really been anything but. No one was injured; no cars blew up; no dead bodies – yet. If the contract rumors were true through…he shook his head as that thought sobered him up and he went back to documenting the activity of the shift, what there was of it. Bobby had caught up with and relieved Ram and Binkie while Stephanie was at the bonds office. Then he had followed her to her parents' house, where, of all things, a school bus was parked in front of the house. He'd had to put up with the guys in the control room laughing at him when he asked for information on who would have a school bus parked at the house. As soon as he heard the name Salvatore "Sally" Sweet, he knew he should have expected it. Bobby'd remembered Sally Sweet from that whole messed up situation when Stephanie's apartment was bombed out by some guy who was jealous of the time Sally was spending with her. The guy dressed in drag, despite being hairy as could be.

_Subject exited the premises, along with her mother, her grandmother, her sister, her sister's baby, and one Salvatore Sweet. All boarded the school bus and proceeded to another address. Control confirmed the address as belonging to one Esther Hamish, who appeared hesitant to open her door and allow them entrance to her residence. Control also confirmed that Ms. Hamish is seeking to rent the other half of the duplex._

Bobby stopped and chuckled, thinking about the sight that motley crew made as they went on their field trip. He didn't blame Esther one bit for thinking twice before opening her door to them. He hadn't heard anything about Bombshell seeking a new residence, certainly not one that came with a yard, so he could only assume the inquiry was for the sister. That was good news as far as Bobby was concerned as it meant that the sister and her brood would evacuate Bombshell's apartment and she could move out on the cop. Things were a bit extra tense around the office since she moved in with him. Ranger was experiencing an extended bad mood. Bobby doubted even Tank had had enough nerve to bring up the cause of said bad mood to the boss man. With another sigh, Bobby leaned back over and resumed typing on his report.

_After a short bit, Subject and company exited the premises and re-boarded the school bus. Their next stop was Tasty Pastry. Subject remained under surveillance through the glass windows. Next stop was the Plum residence where all once again exited the bus and entered the residence. Momentarily Subject reemerged and entered vehicle. Proceeded to drive past a highly graffiti-ed residence on Slater, near Arlington Avenue. Residence known to be that of Joseph Morelli, Trenton cop. "Mooch" Morelli, cousin of the owner, was doing some painting. Subject did not stop nor attract attention to herself._

Bobby had been relieved when Stephanie had kept driving past the cop's house. He didn't know how he'd have managed to keep her in sight without drawing the attention of the cousin if she had gone in. Her next stop was the residence of a current skip of hers, a Carol Cantell; a woman who obviously had issues – she'd held up a Frito-Lay truck and eaten a large portion of the cargo. After a brief stop there, Stephanie had headed to the grocery store.

_Subject parked at the Shop n Bag grocery store. Ate what appeared to be two donuts. Spoke on her cell phone._

Bobby knew he could have had Cal in the communication room turn on the monitoring equipment in the truck but he decided he didn't need to know what Stephanie was talking about badly enough to invade her privacy like that this time point in time. She got out of the truck and went into the store. Bobby sighed. He had no choice but to follow her in and hope she didn't think it suspicious if she recognized him at all. He followed her at an acceptable distance and actually wandered past her in the aisle while she was talking with the old lady. He almost gasped when he heard the lady tell Steph that there was a contract hit out on her by the Slayers. This was intel that Junior hadn't managed to procure the night before. He couldn't contact Cal or Tank without drawing attention to himself there in the store so he had to wait until they were back in their respective vehicles to place the call. He placed the call while following Ranger's truck as it was headed for the mall. He knew he couldn't risk Stephanie having seen him at the Shop n Bag and then at the mall so he called for someone to take over with mall duty. Hal was the lucky winner. Bobby made sure to tell him to come "dressed" – with a weapon and a vest. And then he wished him all the best. Stephanie Plum had proven to be a challenge to stay safe around even when she didn't have a gang gunning for her. He didn't even want to think about what could happen now.

* * *

Hal paused for only a fraction of a second before stripping off his shirt to put the bullet proof vest on underneath it. As he strapped himself into the Kevlar, he wasn't sure what good the vest was going to do him around Ms. Plum. While bullets and other projectiles had been known to fly around her, most of the injuries the men had experienced weren't in places the vest would protect; Ranger had been shot in the leg, Tank had been nearly blown up in an explosion and, at one other time, had broken his leg, and even more recently, Cal had suffered a concussion. However, he knew Bobby would never issue that recommendation lightly and, indeed, his position was reinforced upon finding out the Slayers had a hit on Ms. Plum. Gangs weren't exactly known for their sharp shooting abilities – hundreds of innocent bystanders were injured or killed in gang related drive-by shootings every year around the country.

Hal arrived at the mall just as Stephanie, followed at a respectable distance by Bobby, was pulling into the parking lot. He made sure Bobby knew he was on the scene before heading into the mall at the Macy's entrance, confident Bobby would keep watch on Ms. Plum until she was in the building. Hal spent the next little while watching Stephanie try on dozens of pairs of heeled shoes, a wistful look of longing on her face, followed by her straightening up her backbone, squaring her shoulders, and determinedly sighing. _Atta Girl._ Hal wasn't exactly sure what the internal war had been about but it was obvious Ms. Plum had come to some decision and was sticking to it. Hal worked diligently at not being seen by her while shooting glares at any store employee who even looked as though he or she was considering approaching him.

"Cal, have Tank talk to these asinine rent-a-cops so I can continue to stay under the radar in regards to Ms. Plum," Hal growled into his two-way communication device following at a discreet distance behind Stephanie as she left Macy's and entered the main part of the mall. He followed her around to Godiva Chocolates, watched her dig around in her black shoulder bag for enough change for a few pieces of chocolate, and take a phone call as she was finishing the last piece. He couldn't hear her but he could clearly read her lips when she told the person on the other end that she was in Point Pleasant. He wondered who she would be lying to but was even more perplexed when he read her lips as she said "You are such a cop." (_p.139 TBO Hardcover_)

"Cal, I think there might be an issue between Ms. Plum and that cop. I'm not sure why but she just completely lied to him about her location. Gotta go, she's on the move again." Hal stewed a bit as he sat stuck in traffic on Route 1 a few vehicles behind Ranger's truck. He couldn't help pondering why Ms. Plum would lie to the cop about where she was at; was there something sinister or abusive going on there? Was she more in hiding from him than from the Slayers right now? Is that why she was staying at Ranger's apartment instead of the cop's house? Hal didn't know, but he did know that if there was a reason Stephanie Plum didn't feel safe to let Office Morelli know her whereabouts, he'd make damn sure the cop didn't find out where she was.

"Hey Cal, any idea where we could be headed?"

"Probably to Lula's place. Unless Stephanie has a skip in that general direction, Lula is the only known common associate of hers in the immediate area." Hal nodded out of habit without even realizing that Cal couldn't see him. Didn't matter. Small talk wasn't exactly encouraged as a skill to develop at Rangeman.

Lula came out of her place, got into the truck with Stephanie, and Hal followed the two ladies to the movie complex. He could see them through the back window of the truck enough to tell they were deep into conversation and not paying attention to their surroundings. He wasn't even trying to be discreet in following Ms. Plum now that he realized she wasn't keeping her eyes out for a tail or anything. "Hey Cal, I know it is currently advantageous to us but someone really needs to convince Ms. Plum that she should continually check to see if someone is surveiling her."

"Tell me something I don't know."

Hal sighed. He wondered what movie he'd be half watching this evening. He hoped it was something with some action instead of the new sappy chick flick that had recently been released. While standing in the next line, approximately three people behind the ladies, he was relieved when he heard they were purchasing tickets for the new action alien based movie.

Hal stared with amazement at the amount of junk food purchased to get them through a simple 90 minute movie. The reason for the trip to the movies became obvious as he overheard Ms. Plum and Lula debating whether to cuff the ticket taker then or wait until the end of the movie. Since standard protocol dictated apprehending the skip immediately instead of taking the chance that he would absent himself from the premises, Hal was pretty certain that Ms. Plum would do just the opposite.

Sure enough, ninety minutes later, Hal was trying to lose himself in the crowd filing out of the theater and watched Ms. Plum approach the skip. He was impressed with her method of choice, acting as though she was an old friend the skip hadn't seen in a long time. She got one bracelet on him before he seemed to realize what was going on. Hal stood near the popcorn counter, viewing the action from the corner of his eye as she finished cuffing her skip and maneuvered him through the crowd and out of the building.

"I'll tell you one thing, her pick up techniques appear to be improving. She just fooled her skip into believing she was a long lost friend." Hal shook his head in amazement.

"You know, that would never work with one of us."

"Shit! Damn! Fuck!" Hal let loose with a string of expletives. "Get me back up here IMMEDIATELY. She's ten seconds away from walking right into a drug deal that looks like it is about to go wrong in a hurry. Son of a bitch! I don't need her getting hurt on my watch. Get me back up NOW!"

"Lester and Woody are in the area. ETA 3 minutes. Is she in immediate danger?" In the communication room at Rangeman, Cal caught Tank's attention and put Hal on speaker.

"No, not yet. Ms. Plum, Lula, and the skip are out of sight and next to another vehicle. This doesn't look promising though."

"Hal, maintain your position. Stay out of sight until you have no choice. I doubt Stephanie is going to be fool enough to directly involve herself in something like that. Even if she doesn't realize exactly what is going on, I have no doubt that Lula does and Lula will keep her out of it." Tank said, more to reassure himself in all honesty, then to reassure Hal. There was no telling what Bombshell would do in any given situation and Lula was almost as unpredictable. That was probably the main reason he hadn't asked her out on a date yet. "Keep your two-way active so we can hear what is going on. Lester and Woody have orders to be on the premises but to stay back unless it is absolutely necessary to interfere."

"Affirmative. Ms. Plum appears to be making a phone call. Can you give me any indication of who she is calling?"

Cal quickly pulled up the screen that monitored Stephanie's Rangeman issued cell phone and recognized the number as belonging to the Hamilton Police Department. "She's calling the local cops, and now the theater itself. Those wimp asses won't do anything themselves so keep an eye on her." He closed the screen back down, not liking to intrude on Bombshell's privacy unless it was absolutely necessary.

"Fuck, Fuck, Fuck! There's a gun, another gun, and a knife. Do I bust this up or what? Someone's fixin' to get killed. Shit!" Cal and Tank could hear an alarm blaring through Hal's two-way before either of them could answer him, followed by Hal's laughter. "Nevermind. Ms. Plum took care of it."

Tank felt his stomach clench. "Took care of it" could mean anything when it came to Stephanie. "Status Report!" he barked out. He ground his teeth as he waited for Hal to stop laughing enough to speak.

"She set the panic alarm off on Ranger's truck, sent the drug dealers scurrying away like cockroaches when someone turns on a light. Of course, she lost her skip in the process but at least we don't have to worry about bullets flying at this exact moment."

"Lester, Woody, you are aware of the situation?"

"Affirmative. 'Cockroaches' is an apt description." Lester said, chuckling. "The skip is long gone though, drove off, despite being in cuffs. She really should have cuffed him behind his back. Something else to put on the list of things to have the boss man review with her. We are out of here." Lester signed off.

As Hal followed Ranger's truck out of the parking lot, he saw Ms. Plum stop and speak with one of the cops who had pulled over the drug dealers, apparently for speeding. He felt his blood run cold when he saw one of the dealers make the universal gun sign with his hand and mouth "Bang" in her direction. He quickly started relaying license plate numbers and car descriptions back to base, along with the exchange that had just happened. Tank had decided that perhaps another vehicle on Stephanie would be advisable after all, and had Lester and Woody return to the area in order to help keep watch as Stephanie and Lula wound their way through several neighborhoods on their way back to Lula's. Stephanie then headed back in the direction of the building on Haywood.

"Make sure the area around the garage is clear. Given her displayed penchant for unpredictability, I recommend ensuring both the elevator and the stairwell have been evacuated as well." Hal relayed as they turned onto Haywood. Lester and Woody parked a street over and Hal idled near the corner. Stephanie parked Ranger's truck on the side street and walked the brief distance to the parking garage at a decent clip. Hal didn't breathe easy until he heard Tank confirm that Stephanie was not only in the building but safely locked into Ranger's apartment. Then Lester, Woody, and Hal all got their vehicles parked and entered the building themselves. Entering the control room on the fifth floor, Hal looked over in Tank's direction. "Who's got night watch?"

"Binkie."

* * *

TBC at some point.

AN: Thanks to Jan and some others for helping me make sure where Ranger had been shot, etc. I like to at least make sure little things like that are true to cannon, so it saved me some massive headache.


End file.
